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My Time, Good Try

by Grazen

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1.
Video 00:27
2.
I used to grieve to escape the world's harsh barge but now I want it. I'm not safe from the world's harsh barge it imploded so I have looked to a room that is my own. it's secure but there is still vestigial adrenaline. but I'm in my place where it's okay to see splotches on the wall and on the body, because I'm living for me.
3.
Harsh Barge 00:55
I see splotches on the wall and on the body. I'm afraid I'll give them something or they'll give something to me. I'm talking about disease and holding babies. In a room to call my own only I am home! In a world of rocks and cars, I become my own harsh barge. There's irrevocable harm.
4.
Lisa 01:36
I am alive and I just found out for the first time the mosquito bite was something sinister. I called the line and took some wise advice from a hidden motherly figure: "why am I not frozen and buried? Like my secret hypothetical sister?" I am out here in the flowers.
5.
"if we close our eyes at the same time hours after this cold winter sun has dropped maybe i will stumble through your dreams looking for the bathroom and we'll look at something beautiful, ephemeral, waves dripping upward and back into each other across an expansive abandoned mall parking lot looking almost like water and almost like putty as the shadows grow long, vertical off of leafless november trees" my stream white screen buffering with me when I fall asleep photonearings hypnagogic photoset in the dream I press refresh
6.
In my cyberspace, the data becomes a home that's mine and it stops me from moving this paralyzed song of mine is unstuck from time but still soothing. So my body moves. I take a walk to the bridge, alive, five sense adorning the sun is in my eyes, my time, good try and I trust it!

about

Falling asleep while using the internet. Making your body move. Windmills in the mountains.

credits

released March 20, 2020

Songs written by Scott Schaeffer, 2016-2019.

Recorded, produced, and performed in 2019 by Loren Ames and Scott Schaeffer in Lyndeborough, NH,
with additional recording on "Now I Want It" by Will McGovern.

Mixed and mastered by Loren Ames.

Trombone and tuba on "Video" are played by Ethan King and Caitlin Ross respectively.

Spoken word on "Photonearings" is written and performed by Dana Lockwood.

Album art by Dana Lockwood (instagram.com/solemn.samson).

Write me at cavscotthb@gmail.com

Thank you friends, thank you the Ames family.

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Grazen Boston, Massachusetts

my world in the real world

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